This series documents stories from the Herman Cain Awards subreddit, tracking the COVID mis- and disinformation on Facebook that is leading to so many deaths. Today’s cautionary tale thought COVID only affected those with preexisting conditions. His wife had stage 4 cancer. 

Global pandemics killing millions is so funny lol!

A rare moment of agreement, but not for the reasons this guy thinks. 

Besides not being true, one would assume that posting this in his ignorance would at least mean that he and his family are all paragons of good health, right? 

You’d assume wrong.

Okay, this one is funny. People did their best to get back to some semblance of commercial life while trying to mitigate the danger of infection. Those efforts … weren’t always successful. 

He really loved memes downplaying the deadly impact of the pandemic. Hilarious. 

What a weird way of thinking, huh? “Once masks don’t show the numbers scientists and politicians are looking for …” The “numbers” were about people dying. And yes, if masks didn’t stem the death toll, then other measures would’ve had to be deployed. 

Say, if that silly bubble prevented the zombie apocalypse, would he be like “LOL politicians are just scaring us no one healthy is becoming a zombie.” Probably. That’s what I’ve learned this pandemic. That we’re f’d in a zombie apocalypse. 

Incidentally, once scientists determined that COVID wasn’t spread via surface contact, people stopped needing to wear gloves to go grocery shopping. Meanwhile, frequent hand-washing and sanitizing did stem the spread of diseases that can spread via surface contact, like the flu. No one was looking for the most performatively stupid mitigation efforts. Quite the opposite—the question was, how could we slow the spread of COVID with the least amount of restriction possible?

Neither is perfectly safe. But these are the same assholes crying about bars being closed during the initial shutdown. The curfews were a mitigation effort: Limit the potential exposure time in a group where someone had COVID while also curbing behavior that could lead to greater spread. You know, when people get drunk, they get sloppy. They get touchy and huggy. They yell into each others’ faces. 

Yeah! There’s nothing like annual colon or breast cancer screenings, because we can’t imagine a disease that needs a test to know if you have it or not! 

A quick Google scan didn’t show whatever ridiculous conspiracy theory this was supposed to be. Apparently, this particular jab was faked? 

Ah yes, COVID is only a concern if you have serious medical issues. 

And somehow, stage 4 cancer didn’t qualify. 

His wife has STAGE 4 CANCER, and he didn’t think it was important to get himself vaccinated. Not to mention, perhaps when he posted the “serious medical issues” meme, they were all healthy. But you never know what life will bring. 

Meanwhile, Mr. “Only serious medical conditions kill” was himself in the hospital, and only lasted only three days longer than his cancer-ravaged wife. 

COVID didn’t care about no prayers. It never does. It’s got its own agenda, and if there’s a god, She doesn’t seem to care how or who it kills. 

I would argue that someone who doesn’t do everything possible to protect his family is not a “devoted family man.” There’s nothing “heroic” about giving the virus the breathing room to infect not just him, which might merit an “oh well” shrug, but his cancer-fighting wife. 

I wonder if he knew he killed his wife as he struggled on the vent. Or if he had the unwarranted mercy of already being in a coma. 

He couldn’t wait to see what would kill them all. He thought he was being funny. Turns out he was being literal.