Sen. Ted Cruz has a YouTube channel called The Verdict with Ted Cruz. Without doing much research, one can imagine what kinds of “verdicts” Cruz pontificates on during his show. The essence of anything Cruz says into a microphone and on a camera can be reduced to one statement: “Please, vote for me. I hate you all but I want to be in control of everyone to fill this painful hole in my soul.” On Saturday, Cruz went on his channel to discuss the announcement that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer would be retiring. It is a given that Cruz would, and will, lambast any nominee President Joe Biden might put forward in the coming hours or days or weeks (with the possible exception of President Joe Biden nominating Cruz for the position, in which case, welcome to the play No Exit).

It is also a given that literally anything Cruz has to say on the matter of the Supreme Court will be abject hypocrisy of the highest order. Of the many craven politicians we have all seen in our lifetimes, Cruz holds a unique place in this bottom-dweller ring of hell for his special combination of both being revolting and insufferable at the same time, combined with a shamelessness only seen in Charles Dickens’ character, Uriah Heep. This is the same man who stood in front of the Supreme Court, in front of cameras and microphones, and literally said: "You didn’t see Republicans when we had control of the Senate try to rig the game. You didn’t see us try to pack the court.“ That quote is from April 2021.

After saying that every choice for Supreme Court justices since Bill Clinton has gotten more and more left-wing radical, Cruz zeros in on race. But because Cruz has that special ability to dig below the bottom of the barrel, he is able to pack in worlds of hypocrisy, bigotry, lies, and ignorance in just over one minute. Cruz begins by saying, “The fact that he’s willing to make a promise at the outset that it must be a Black woman, I gotta say that’s offensive.” When Cruz—or any Republican, at this point—says something is “offensive,” there’s a good chance that they’re actively being offensive and plan on continuing to be offensive.

“Black women are what, 6% of the U.S. population?” Well done, Teddy. Considering that the courts, as well as the Supreme Court, have been packed by GOP operatives doing the bidding of the Federalist Society, Cruz’s big reverse-racism push here is such sophomoric rhetoric that it’s depressing to hear it coming out of the mouths of people who are not playing characters in a lazily written 1970s after-school special. Cruz continues to show how bad he is at his own racist math: “He’s saying to 94 of Americans ‘I don’t give a damn about you, you are ineligible.’” 

It’s a lot less than that. I mean, there are less than 1,000 federal judges. That means that something like .00025% of the U.S. population is actually being “considered” for the Supreme Court at this moment. When you take away how many of those judges are deceitful dunderheads like Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett, that percentage drops even lower. But never fear: Cruz, who hasn’t had an original idea since he was a teenager on a high school debate team, is going to continue down this road. “It’s actually an insult to Black women.” Something blah blah blah.

Then he tacks on President Barack Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, the one that Sen. Mitch McConnell, Cruz, and the Republican Party unconstitutionally blocked: Merrick Garland. “How much does it suck to be Merrick Garland? He’s literally got to sit here and be told at the outset he is ineligible. Because sorry, wrong skin pigment and a wrong Y chromosome.”

It’s easy to respond to Cruz saying anything about anything because he’s so full of BS all of the time. So let’s enjoy some of the responses!

More numbers.

And some science.

And then this one really hit my funny bone.

And finally a message for Cruz that’s rated PG.

The clip in question begins at the eight-minute mark. You can watch it, but warning: Cruz’s face.

YouTube Video