This series documents stories from the Herman Cain Awards subreddit, tracking the COVID mis- and disinformation on Facebook that is leading to so many deaths. Today’s cautionary tale didn’t take care of his family.

HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Okay, Mr. “Alpha Blood Brotherhood.” 

A mask looks more comfortable than that armor. 

Yup, a real asshole. But he’s so alpha. 

Imagine the cognitive dissonance of posting this after Jan. 6. 

There are 115,000 commercial flights every single day. If the survival rate was 99.9%, that would mean that 115 flights would crash every single day. 

So who would be the doomsday cult: the people getting on planes, or those avoiding them? 

Not to mention, people get angry because most people aren’t selfish self-centered assholes who only care about themselves. Children and young adults can spread the virus to more vulnerable populations—something easily avoided by vaccinating, social distancing, and masking. 

Someone let the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers know! 

Dr. Anthony Fauci: “Here, let me save your life.”

Deplorables lose their shit.

Ah look, it’s Candace “Angel of Death” Owens.

Australia has one of the lowest per capita death rates of any industrialized nation because of incredibly strict travel and health measures. In fact, most countries below it are either failed or poverty-stricken states, unable to accurately report their COVID deaths, or they’re places like China that have simply lied about their numbers. 

A government can absolutely stop a virus, and it can create conditions that mitigate the impact of the virus on the populace. Anti-government demagogues like Owens need to convince people otherwise in order to further their own agenda—a world in which grifters like them can do whatever they want, to whomever they want, without fear of consequences. You know, like Donald Trump. 

The Alpha Blood Brotherhood was all about racial harmony and reconciliation. You can totally see it when they meme “Fuck your opinion.” So much brotherly love. Damn you Obama for thwarting their love for their fellow people! 

I wonder if someone will update the Alpha Blood Brotherhood meme, but with that fiery gladiator on a ventilator. 

A blood oxygen level of 40%? Dear god. As I post this, our Alpha Blood Brother is still on a ventilator, but … how much can there be there? That is brain-dead levels of blood oxygen. 

Brain is affected in the mid- to low-80s. “Cyanosis” is when the patient turns blue from lack of oxygen, essentially starving cells throughout the entire body.

He was at 40%.

I wonder if her Alpha Blood Brotherhood husband would approve of her going on public assistance. He had very well-defined opinions about welfare. Or would it be okay because she’s white and actually deserves it, unlike those Black people on welfare? DAMN YOU OBAMA FOR DIVIDING AMERICA ON RACE! 

I can’t fathom having two daughters, another child on the way, a wife dealing with a high-risk pregnancy, and spending more time posting nonsense memes than doing everything possible to protect that family. That would be alpha—vaccinating, masking, and taking out a life insurance policy, just in case. 

Heck, taking an extra shift at work or spending extra time with his daughters would’ve been better use of his time than Facebook shit-posting. Really, anything would’ve been a better use of his time than that. 

Doctors had great news a year ago. It was a vaccine! And it worked to block or dramatically limit COVID’s impact on those infected! “Why isn’t he better?” Because he didn’t take that vaccine. “Just fix my husband.” If it was that easy, we wouldn’t need the vaccine and masks and social distancing and all the social and political upheaval of the last two years.  

But as it turns out, owning the libs and hating on Fauci for contradicting Donald Trump on TV that one time was more important than giving a shit about other people around him, including his wife and girls. Unforgivable.

Ultimately, we know there’s a doomsday cult, and it isn’t those saying “99.9% seems like good odds, but someone is going to be in that 0.01% cohort, and what would happen if it was you?” The death cult is those putting themselves, their families, and anyone reading their Facebook in danger of illness, chronic ailments, financial ruin, and/or death.