For a while late last year, I pondered dipping my toe into the phantasmagorical world of Republican-pranking. Republicans tend to be so obtuse, I reasoned, that repeatedly fooling them would be a piece of cake.

I came up with the idea because I saw that Rudy Giuliani was on Cameo, and since the inside of his head is basically just spent toner cartridges and pink vomit powder now, I thought maybe I could get him to promote my new religious bookstore, The Glory Hole. And if I could somehow wheedle him into playing another round of Fiddle Drawers, that would be a bonus. I mean, Rudy’s not the brightest, so I figured this was at least a plausible scenario—but I gave up on the idea when I saw he was charging $2,275 to promote a business. In the end I’d probably get more laughs out of this venture than from buying two grand’s worth of weed, but the price still seemed pretty steep.

The other problem with my abortive plan? There’s really no point in going out of your way to embarrass Republicans when they pull shit like this, now is there?

Yes, that’s Media Matters for America investigative reporter Eric Hananoki pointing out two tweets that came in just 10 minutes apart. One teases an episode of Brian Kilmeade’s Fox show, What Made America Great. The episode, “Ellis Island,” “recounts the extraordinary journey millions of immigrants took to start a new life in the land of the free.”

Oh, how nice. An acknowledgment that our country was built and made great largely through the contributions of millions of immigrants from all walks of life. Granted, that doesn’t sound much like Fox, but …

Oh, what fresh hell is this?

From Thursday’s edition of Fox & Friends (click here for the full video):

Yup, they’re “poisoning” our cities with “people that don’t belong here.” Interesting that he couldn’t even be bothered to refer to them as people who don’t belong here. 

Now, I don’t think it can ever be repeated enough that Brian Kilmeade once attempted to toast marshmallows with a plastic spoon … before abandoning that winning strategy and using his fingers instead, but this is still pretty extraordinary. I mean, what exactly is the difference between the immigrants who came here in the 19th and 20th centuries and those who are coming now? Both groups were searching for better lives. Both were largely fleeing untenable situations in their own countries. Both were determined to work hard to earn their place here.

And both enhanced the labor pool during periods when more workers were desperately needed. (In fact, we currently face a long-term labor shortage that can likely only be ameliorated by—you guessed it—more immigration.)

So what’s the difference between these two groups—one that Kilmeade extols and the other he calls poisonous? 

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I swear the answer is white on the tip of my tongue. If I think of it, I’ll get back to you. I promise.

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