Ex-con, anti-vaxxer, and king of the village of nincompoops, “Vaccine Police” leader Christopher Key is giving out advice on his latest nontreatment treatment for COVID-19. He says it is the “antidote,” and we hope you’re sitting down for this. Yes, folks, it’s … ”urine therapy.” 

That’s right: Instead of taking a safe and effective vaccine, Key is telling his bonehead followers to buckle up and take a big sip of their own liquid gold. 

“The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy. Okay, and I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need,” Key said in a video posted over the weekend on his Telegram account.

“This has been around for centuries,” he added.

Key—who was recently released from jail in Birmingham, Alabama, over a criminal trespassing charge—admits that what he’s saying might seem a bit “cray cray.” But he went on to tell a small group of his followers to “drink urine” because “this vaccine is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen.” He concluded with: “I’m not a medical doctor and I’m not telling anyone to drink their own urine, but I drink my own urine. And I’ve been drinking my own urine for the last 23 years and I’m still alive. And I drink chlorine dioxide!” The concludes with a brief sales pitch on chlorine dioxide.

So here’s where I’d like to interject a quick travel story from when I was on my honeymoon in Thailand in 2018.  

My husband and I started our trip in Bangkok. After a pleasant taxi ride and small talk with the driver on our second day in the city, we asked if the driver would take us to Ayutthaya the following day. We wanted to see the historic Grand Palace and a famed sculpture of a Buddha head embedded in a Banyan tree. 

He agreed, and the next morning he was at our hotel sitting in the lobby. 

We drove the hour to Ayutthaya and walked around the palace grounds in the blazing hot sun. We saw the Buddha and it was truly amazing. On the way back, our driver was talking a lot and it became difficult to understand with his thick Thai accent, so we got out our Google translate to communicate better. 

During the drive back to our hotel, out of the blue, my husband asks the driver what the worst health issue was for Thai people. He answers quickly that it is HIV/AIDS, which is unsurprising as sex tourism in Thailand is a billion-dollar business. 

We’d done our own research and learned that the Thai government had done a lot to combat the virus. As of 2014, all antiretroviral therapies were free to people living with HIV. Around 2018, the Thai Red Cross AIDS Research Center began offering PrEP, a preventative medicine for HIV, free to those who are at high risk. 

But our driver told us that his answer to preventing HIV/AIDS was to drink his own urine. Now, we were convinced when he told us this that Google translation had lost its mind. But we asked him repeatedly, in Thai, if he actually drank his own urine, and repeatedly, he told us he and his family did. So that’s my story. 

But back to Key. When he’s not guzzling waste matter, Key is on the road wearing a fake badge and an arsenal of weapons, hoping to arrest Democratic state governors over vaccine mandates. 

According to The Daily Beast, Key has harassed several state officials and “served” people with packets of information that he insists prove his conspiracy that COVID-19 vaccines are “bioweapons.” 

Key additionally carries a flamethrower, which he showed off in one of his many Telegram videos. And according to The Washington Post, Key went to a Walmart pharmacy in Springfield, Missouri, along with several of his followers in August to threaten pharmacists over giving out COVID-19 vaccines. 

“What they’re doing is crimes against humanity,” he said in a live stream on Facebook. “And if they do not stand down immediately, then they could be executed. They can be hung in the state.”

He added: “If you allow one more shot in one more person’s body, you yourself will be executed in violation of the Nuremberg Code,” he said as he pointed to a Walmart employee standing nearby. “We don’t want that to happen to any of you guys at all. We love you guys. We want to keep you safe.”

Key has repeatedly referred to America’s Frontline Doctors, a group notoriously known for proliferating bogus claims about COVID-19. Key even falsely claimed that days after getting COVID-19 vaccines, 45,000 people died. This is, of course, completely untrue.