Oh, what fresh hell is this? The last I checked, this aimless tangle of glitching neurons held a seat in the U.S. Congress. If we can’t actually administer IQ tests as a prerequisite for serving in the House of Representatives, can we at least biopsy their brains to check for nougat? Seems like the least we can do to protect the public against whatever this is.

Apparently, Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene missed a few days of school—including the day all Peach State schools are required to set aside once a year to teach something other than creation science. Marge Simp thinks cancer is somehow analogous to COVID-19, a communicable disease that continues to spread, evolve, and kill innocent people across the globe.

Check out this latest bit of research from the M.T. Greene BatshitWerks factory:

And here’s a screen shot, in case someone in her inner circle who prefers the reduced-lead paint chips has a free 48 hours or so to explain this to her and convince her to take the tweet down.

It’s a tragedy that so many people still die of cancer each year. But what we haven’t done in the face of this ongoing crisis is demonize effective treatments, politicize basic precautionary measures, or relentlessly attack one of the world’s foremost experts on the problem.

Of course, there’s a fairly significant difference between cancer and COVID-19. Let me see if I can puzzle this one out. Hmm. No luck. Guess I’m just too obtuse.

Anyone?

One has to wonder if Greene is really this stupid, or if she saw #LaurenBoebert trending, needed to strike quickly, and couldn’t come up with something bigoted in time. Needless to say, if this MAGA star has such a tenuous grasp of the COVID-19 pandemic after nearly two years of nonstop coverage, it doesn’t bode well for her followers.

When is the Hale-Bopp comet returning to pick these people up? I hear JFK Jr. has added a giant pair of TruckNutz to its tail so they’ll know it’s the right celestial Uber. Don’t be late, death cultists! It’s escorting you to an elysian libertarian utopia where they irrigate their crops with Brawndo and liberal tears—which won’t really matter all that much since their restaurants serve nothing but meat anyway.

Enjoy, y’all. Black Nikes are optional! Though the security guards might rifle through your wallet to make sure you haven’t been vaccinated. After all, vaccines make the baby Jesus cry.

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.