The hosts and pundits of Fox News have been through suffering and adversity beyond what mere mortals can adequately convey this week … but they sure are working overtime to tell us about it. 

The network’s large fake Christmas tree was set on fire early Wednesday morning in an apparent act of arson. A suspect faces multiple charges. But the personalities of Fox News have made the tree-burning, and their feelings about it, the subject of at least 36 hours of wall-to-wall news coverage. And holy crap, it is beyond parody. I mean, really, really, a classic “if this were intended as comedy, your editor would tell you to tone it way down” situation.

As of Thursday afternoon, Eric Boehlert counted nearly 100 mentions of the tree in Fox News coverage, adding, “and yes, that’s more coverage than Fox News gave to the deadly Michigan shooting last week.” Four people died in that shooting, but to hear Fox News’ people tell it, the hopes and dreams of America went up in flames along with the tree.

To some Fox personalities, a single act of arson by a suspect who is reported to be mentally ill was a microcosm of the anarchic violence of U.S. cities. “As some progressives downplay and even deny the existence of a crime crisis, we’re seeing it firsthand in New York City, as it shows up on our very own doorstep,” Todd Piro said (and if you haven’t heard of Todd Piro, it’s because he’s on during the 4 AM hour). “This is what happens when you have a lawless city.”

To others, it was also an argument against criminal justice reform policies like ending cash bail. “Unfortunately, it’s one of many examples of just how weak, far-left crime policies are leaving so many cities less safe, less secure, all over the country,” said Sean Hannity. You know they were disappointed not to be able to blame it on Antifa, but they were able to rally and summon the courage to blame it on progressive policies that aren’t even in effect in most places.

Or maybe it was an attack on Christianity, a line that Tucker Carlson pushed hard, equating the burning of a Christmas tree to the burning of a Koran—something the Justice Department should track as a hate crime. (Who’s surprised that Tucker Carlson is a little fuzzy on where Christmas trees stand as sacred symbols of Christianity?)

But one thing was for sure: Fox News would overcome. This would be an example of moral strength and fighting through adversity that would inspire the nation. You, the average person, though? You probably could not be so strong.

” Don’t worry about us at Fox News,” host Tammy Bruce said in the 7 PM hour, while the words “THE LEFT WANTS YOU TO BE AFRAID” appeared onscreen. “We’re fine. We are rebuilding our tree. … But these are the benefits of being a major corporation. Most Americans don’t have this luxury.”

” Someone did this to spoil our Christmas, but that’s not going to happen,” Ainsley Earhardt said. “You can’t burn us down.”

” It was terrible to wake up to,” according to Dana Perino, but “we will not be defeated.”

From the tone, you’d have expected the new tree to go up with a giant #FoxNewsStrong sign. But Fox News contributor Rev. Jacque DeGraff went one better, saying, at the lighting, “I’m here because these colors do not run. Eighty years ago this week, they tried to extinguish the darkness in a place called Pearl Harbor. We didn’t fold then, and we won’t fold now!”

These … colors … don’t run? Is he comparing the Fox News fake Christmas tree to the American flag? The burning of that artificial tree to an attack that killed and wounded thousands of people? Yes. Yes, he is. Absolutely, unequivocally, the tree is now more important to Fox News than basically any number of lives.

The level of whiny victim complex on display is easy to roast. The Fox News response was widely mocked—see especially the Daily Show video below. But Fox knows its viewers, and this may be compelling, scary stuff to them, genuinely telling about the state of the nation. And that’s a profoundly terrifying thought.