For more than 18 months, it’s been clear that the SARS-CoV-2 virus—originally better known as the “novel coronavirus”—can call serious lingering illness, as well as death. Many people whose initial brush with COVID-19 appeared to be mild have found themselves suffering lingering effects, including heart issues, lung issues, joint pain, dizziness, hearing loss, and memory problems that can mimic or lead to Alzheimer’s. COVID-19 has also led directly to thousands of instances of amputations. COVID-19 patients have found themselves needing kidney, lung, double-lung, or heart-lung transplants. And then there’s the little matter of over 600,000 deaths (more likely close to a million) in the United States alone. 

It might seem that all of that would be enough to make anyone rush to the nearest available source of vaccine and elbow their way to the front of the line. In fact, that seems to be happening in other countries. In Canada, 71% of the total population is at least partially vaccinated. That’s a full 15% higher than the United States. But then, Canada—though it certainly has vaccine protesters—doesn’t have a major faction of its people dedicated to the idea that accepting rationality is surrendering to the enemy. 

As Civiqs shows, Republicans are still locked into a vaccine hostile position, with 44% saying they will not take the vaccine. This number has not been dented by the delta variant surge, or by the lukewarm endorsements of the vaccine cautiously mouthed by GOP politicians. It seems that there may be nothing which will change Republicans’ minds and get them to take action that’s not only vital for the nation, but for themselves. We might as well give up and …

Oh, wait a sec … Dear Republican men, COVID-19 makes your dick limp. Please form an orderly line.

Market Watch may not seem like the first name to turn to for medical news, but Dr. Ranjith Ramasamy, the author of the Market Watch article, is also one of the members of a team which found that COVID-19 causes both erectile dysfunction and infertility in men.

For months, rumors have been circulating about the COVID-19 vaccines causing such issues. Those rumors are simply untrue. There is no evidence that the vaccines can cause infertility among men or women.

But the disease certainly can. 

In a study that included dissecting the testicles of six men (all dead, so stop screaming), Dr. Ramasamy and a team or urologists found that half of those tested had reduced sperm count. Oh, and sampling from a survivor (you can resume screaming now) showed that not only were sperm counts reduced, COVID-19 can continue to live in the testes months after the initial infection.

And that isn’t even the part of this news that will cause most men to flinch. Because another study involved “an analysis of penile tissue” from two men who needed “penile implants” after COVID-19 led to severe erectile dysfunction. The suspected cause here is the same thing that is thought to be behind much of the damage COVID-19 can do to the heart, brain, and other organs—blood clots. Those clots lead to decreased blood flow. Decreased blood flow leads to frustration and embarrassment.

On the other hand, a new study shows that the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are fine for the male reproductive system. That’s something that Republicans might want to keep in mind going forward, especially as they hammer their “no votes for the childless” theme. Those who have been vaccinated will at least have that option, those catching COVID … maybe not so much.

From the beginning, there have been Republicans out there screaming about how the vaccine involved “population control.” And it turns out they’re right. Because by turning down the vaccine, Republicans may be not just putting their lives at risk, but taking themselves right out of the gene pool.