I wonder what’s going through Matt Gaetz’s head right now—other than prurient thoughts and about 80 pints of blood plasma.

The gendarmes appear to be closing ranks around the Florida man best known for his Trumpy veneration and humpy venery. Circumstances have become so fraught for Gaetz that reports now suggest he may be charged in connection with his alleged crimes as early as July. That’s—hmm, lemme see—oh! Next month!

A tip for Gaetz’s future jailers: You might want to do a full head-cavity search on this guy. You could fit a planeload of coke in that thing and have room left over for a welding torch and circular saw.

ABC News:

Former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg, who reached a plea deal last month, has been assisting federal agents in the sprawling probe that has recently revved up its focus on alleged corruption and fraud stemming from Greenberg’s time in office and beyond, multiple sources familiar with the matter told ABC News.

Oooh, that doesn’t sound good.

But here’s the kicker:

Does Gaetz qualify as an “adult man”? I guess technically he does. 

The ABC story as a whole is a deep dive into the seamy underbelly of Florida’s frat-boy political scene. Greenberg is apparently a real piece of work, and Gaetz appears to have been marching in lockstep with his BFF. It’s so bad, Gaetz thought touring the country with Marjorie Taylor Greene would be the distraction he needs to throw the media off his scent. Not sure why he’s doing that, unless he thinks faking mental illness will somehow get him a lighter sentence.

Of course, there’s no guarantee Gaetz is going inside. I’ve seen plenty of scurrilous white men skate by on their privilege. But it sure doesn’t look good for him these days. And that’s reason enough to be encouraged. For now, anyway.

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