Joe Biden is headed to Europe, where he is not expected to demand golf stays or insult allies

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President Joe Biden is traveling to Europe Wednesday, kicking off his first foreign trip as president. The itinerary is robust: It will kick off with the three-day G7 summit, jet to Brussels for NATO meetings, and cap things off by meeting in Geneva with Russian troll Vladimir Putin.

While the meeting with Putin is likely to generate the most press buzz, it is also likely to be the most pointless bit of the trip. Biden will likely bring up the new spate of Russian-originated ransomware hacks that have caused real damage to American markets; Putin will simply feign ignorance of the attacks, as he has feigned ignorance of each Russian provocation during his rule. Russia is at this point fully ruled by Putin’s allied oligarchs and crime rings. So long as it’s bringing cash into Russian accounts, he’s not going to complain.

Most of Biden’s attention will instead be focused on conversations with U.S. allied foreign leaders, and the central diplomatic task of the trip will be to convince those leaders that the United States has not, despite all recent evidence to the contrary, gone completely off its rails. He meets with NATO leaders after an (incompetent) insurrection premised on overthrowing America’s own government, and while the previous inhabitant of his office continues to stoke fascist hoaxes to goad his followers into new attempts to return him to power. Insurrectionist militias continue to make a point of challenging federal power at gunpoint. Republican lawmakers continue to support the hoaxes and premises of the insurrection, retooling election laws to better enable a next one.

Fully restoring confidence in America as a competent international partner is not something it is within a new president’s power to do. The less ambitious goal is to at least assure partners that the nation’s current leader is not an ever-addled incompetent jackass.

Fortunately, that one will be easier. It mainly requires Biden to not be a complete and total asshole to everyone he meets up with, something far beyond the last Dear Leader’s capabilities but which is a familiar enough task to Biden to come naturally.

He is not expected to be weirdly snippy at Germany’s leader, or regale British diplomats with tales of which royals he could probably have slept with, had he made a move. He is not expected to tell NATO members that they owe America money because Reasons, or to announce new troop withdrawals based on which leaders made him look a bit thick in public.

Bizarrely, Joe Biden is at this point not scheduled to visit even one self-owned golf resort. He does not even appear to be demanding that his assigned federal security agents rent golf carts from his company, and there seems to be no plan to rant about offshore wind power lowering his property values.

And unless some foreign leader insults Amtrak, there may be no fisticuffs at all.

Anyhoo, from now until June 16 you can expect ongoing reports from the Biden Is In Europe Tour. Two thirds of them will come from Fox News as they hunt for evidence that Joe Biden is the very essence of radical extremism; hosts will in particular be looking at examples of Biden being friendly toward American allies so that they can claim he is Secretly Plotting To Be Europe or whatever else is currently rattling through the network’s pachinko brain. Sure, whatever.