There’s a big drought menacing the Western U.S. these days. It’s gotten so bad that the governor of Utah has decided to get on the big red phone to Yahweh so that He might open the sluices in the terranean firmament and bless our lands with the precious, life-giving water He’s been withholding for only He knows what reason.

Even if I weren’t an agnostic of long standing, I’d be skeptical of these kinds of intercessional Hail Mary ducks that politicians like to throw around in lieu of effective action.

The Hill:

“By praying collaboratively and collectively, asking God or whatever higher power you believe in for more rain, we may be able to escape the deadliest aspects of the continuing drought,” Cox said in a video on Friday.

…

“I’ve already asked all Utahns to conserve water by avoiding long showers, fixing leaky faucets, and planting water-wise landscapes. But I fear those efforts alone won’t be enough to protect us,” Cox said in a press release.

Interesting that he says “God or whatever higher power.” I suppose, being an elected representative for all Utahns, he kind of has to say that. But I really don’t know how he’d react if my burnt offerings go to Ba’al … and Ba’al later claims credit for the inevitable deluge. 

That said, there’s little doubt that Cox is talking about the Judeo-Christian God, and that’s fine, I guess—even though it might actually be more effective in the long run to ask Utahns to pray for books on climate change to fall from the heavens and down random chimneys. (Give a man rain, he’ll drink for a day; teach a man to stop climate change, he’ll be turned down for meetings with Republican politicians across the country until the planet is an unlivable hellscape with a few Taco Bell Expresses scattered here and there.)

Of course, it’s doubtful, to say the least, that Cox’s prayers will do any good. I imagine God has earmarked most of the United States’ water ration for flooding “wicked” cities. 

Twitter had some thoughts:

Of course, you may be thinking, “Aw, come on. Longstanding weather patterns can’t turn on a dime. He’s doing what he can. You need time to implement climate change mitigation strategies.”

And that would make sense if 1) Republicans were allowing us to implement even the most basic climate change mitigation strategies and 2) these stupid rain dances hadn’t already been going on for years now.

From a February 2014 Fox News story:

The plea to above comes weeks after the federal government declared parts of 11 parched Western and Central states natural disaster areas.

Faith leaders asked for divine intervention during a special multifaith service Saturday at a Mormon church in the Reno suburb of Sparks. And on Sunday, the Utah Farm Bureau Federation asked the public to join in prayer and fasting for snow and rain for livestock and crops as part of its Harvesting Faith event.

That was, let’s see, seven years ago. We can sit on our hands for another seven years, assuming those hands won’t be a grotesque amalgam of phalanges ‘n’ blisters by then, or we can actually do something other than whisper into the wind.

Then again, state governors have to appear to be doing something in the face of preventable disasters, and since action on climate change is effectively off the table, this is what they’re left with.

Sounds good to their constituents, anyway. I guess that’s all that really matters, huh?

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